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A ^lUMVJ Bo*)k, Speakfi-, (Juiile Book, Wicru Rnrl Beards— in 

, jou waul will be seut by AMES' PUB. CO., Clyde, Ohio. 



^ AMES' SERIES OF 

STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA. 
P S 

fe35 No. 479. 

Z9Y74 „_. 



Backtown Spirits. 



FAEOE. 



WITH OAST OP CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES AND 
EXITS, RELATIVE POSITION8 OF THE PERFORMERS 
ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND 
THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS ; CARE- 
FULLY MARKED FROM THE MOST AP- 
PROVED ACTING COPY. 



Thi.s Book will not l)o exchanged. 



TRUE 15 CEISTS. 



CLYDE. OHIO. 
AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 

n K 




Class PS b ?? 5" . 
Book .7 3Y74 
CoppghtN" 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



\^ (p ( "^ 



Baektown Spirits; 



6>/ 

OR- 



Two Under the Table. 



IN ONE ACT. 



— I'.Y — 



0. E. Young. 



'lO WHICH IS ADDKI) 

A OKSr'KIP'rioN OKTH K COS'IHIM KS-OAST OF THE T'TT ARAO- 

'rKi:s KN'n{AN<;ios and ioxits-ri<:lamm\ k I'osmoxs 
OF THK iM':ui'()UMi':us on: tuf t^TAiJio. and TdE 

WHOI.K OF THF ST AH 10 lUISlNFSci, 



-X 



Enfpi-Hc^ ivofordinor to act of (■<)iiore«js in the y^ar 1909 by 
ill tlie office ui' ihe Lil)rari:ni of Ooiiiiress at VVa:sliiiigLoii, 



AMES' IM'HMSHING 00. 



{.\\i\L. OHIO: 



BA CKI X) I ( .V SPIR ITS. <0^ s/ ^ ^ 
CAST OF CHA RACTKRS. y]J\ ^ 
Johnnie Mugbi, ; . .4 welUo-do jarmer of Bdrkioivn, 

JlMMlK JUMPEE, I If / • / 

8am Soijd, ) ^^^''^^-'/^ '^' ^^■"'^^^'■'^■• 

MADiiE 31lGBY, Johnnie Mniibifs da iiy liter. 

TIME. Kvenincj oi Ike jjresmf day. 

TIME OF FLAYING— 1 hour 

PROPERTIES. 

Tab]e and two clfiirs; flat-iron and clotlies to iioii for 
MaLige; new s[)hj)!'!". {jeiicil and paper for Jounuic, [jencil 
and i)aper for Sam. 



COSTUMES. 

Johnnie. — Slio.uld be tall and slender, appears quite 
deat; weai's fanner cosinnie, low trodden-oyer ^boe.s, reil 
woolen so(^ks and lin^e black felt^ luit — uses .■• pectaeles 
wliHii reading- ov writ ing - sliaggy gray wig and wluskers. 

JlMMiE. hlioidd be smali, quick sj)oken and active, 
wears a neat suit and a small nnistacln^. 

ISAM. — Should be lar<;e, slt)w-^poken, clumsy and red 
faced wears a blond n\ ig, swallow tailed coni. iiat and an 
immense standing collai- witli a ilandng i-ed scajd* tied in 
a huge bow. 

Madge. -A neat print di'ess and apron, with sleeves 
rolled up to elbows. 

STA G/i' niUhU'TlON'S. 

B., means Right: l., Lt'li : n. ii.? liiuht Hand : l. h.. Tielt Hand; 
cCeultH-: s. E., (2d ifi. ) SccrMul jlv.it r:iiiro : r. k... Upp.M- lOiil raiice; 
M. D., Middle Door; f.. tlu'.l;>rr; i>. f., Door in Flat; k. c, Ili.^lit 
of Center; l. c, Left of Center. 

K. R. C. C. L. C. L. 

^j% The reader is supposed to be upon tlie slaur fai-iny the audience. 

©C(.D 17417 

TMP92-007604 



BacktovT^n Spirits. 



SCENE. — Mugby's kUchen, b. nnd l. e., wwdow in flai — 
Madcie (hsc(>ver<'(l, as rin-/ain rises, a! Uible, L. c, 
tro/i/////y Johnnie seated u. of table reading newspaper; 
chair n. — Madgi<; appeal's uneasy and frequently looks 
anj ionsly off n., andfinall/j speaks in ordinary tone. 

Madge, (aside) Oh deaj-, wliy won't daddy go out 
soiiiewlieres! Of courst^ lie'd have to stay at home to- 
night, of all nights, just because Jiuiiuie Jumper is com- 
ing to see me. L doiTt think he likes Jiunuie \ery well — 
1 don't care. 1 do, ill marry Jimmie Jumper in spite ot 
datidy and everylxuly else, or my n/ime isn't Madge 
Mugoy. {irons spitefntly 

Jij/uinie. (reads alond) Jane Doodle and Hi Skinner 
is married. 

Al((d(;e. (toud) Yes, daddy! (in ordinary ion c ) There! 
if that isn't aggravatin*! How am I ever to git a husband 
if hi s goiu' to stay to home and watch the court in' ev'ry 
time I have a beau? (hangs flat-iror 

Joliini ie. ( toolcs np inqniringly ) Hey ? 

Madfie. (lond) Nothin', daddy. 1 was jest sayiu' I 
was sick of seein' 'eni lallygaggin' 'round everywhere. 
( JoHNNiR resnmes reading, Madge continues spcal:ing in 
toiler tone) I'd like to know why 1 can't git mariied jest 
as well as Jane Doodle. I'm two months older'n she is — - 
and lot's better lookin'. (fosse-- head and, irons spitefnlly 

Johnnie, { ret ids atond) 'Mandy Johnson's havin' a 
pretty hard time, L reckon, the paper says she's got the 
shingles. 

Madge, (spitefnjly ) Hope she gits ihe clapboards too! 
She's tryin' to ketch my -Jimmie. (innis 

Johnnie, (looks around) Hey? 



4 BA CK TO WX SPIRITS, 

Mddge. {loud ) I said it's too bail — {in ordin'nnj f<nie) 
that she don't get tliem shinoles tlie way he?- mother asto 
give 'em to her. [bctiigs ir.>n 

Johnnir. Sartiu! Yoa allers did have a tender iieart, 
Madge, {redds) The paper says they've got most 'round 
her. 

Mad(/e. Lordy! there must be more'n a yard of 'em 
{spitefidlf/) She's got a waist like a pork barrel. 

Johnnie, {reads) "I'hey had a big pound party over 
to widder Jones's night at'ore last; ev rybody got out." 

Mddye. {(ingry) And Mndg^^ Magl)y can't hav' even 
one i)eaii, jest 'clause her own d iddy won't git out. Oh, I 
think it's jest mean! {slams ji(d -iron do'Cii 

Johnnie. {Icoks around i'lqniringltj) Ye act kind o' 
cross, Madge; what's the matter? Has yer bile l)iled over? 

M(id(/e. {loud) Say, daddy, wiiy don't ye go over to 
Snodgrass' this ev'uin'? I lieard the deacon hail tapped 
a new barrel o' cider this week, and ev'rybody says it's 
jest prime. 

Johnnie, {shakes head) No, I don't want no cider t r- 
night. {confideniidlly) Say, Madge, I got somthin" pretty 
impnrtant ter say to you. 

Madge, {eagerly, loud) Ye don't say so! What is it, 
daddy ? 

John inc. {lowers voice, wafcJicH her) Look o' here, 
Madge, did ye ever stop to think you're old enougii to git 
married? 

Madge, {slo/rts violently and drops fl(d-iron) Massy 
sak's! {picks up iron, aside) Can he 1>e goin' to let me 
marry Jimmie after all? 

Johnnie, {watches her) Well, what say, Madge? Did 
ye? 

Madge, {hashfidly, looks down and plays loith apron) 
Well — yes, daddy — a little — once in a great while. 

John lie. { puts h(uid to ear) Hey? 

Madge, {louder) Yes, daddy defir; be you willin'? 

Johnnie, {nyith eulhusia^m) Willin'? Course 1 am! 
I'm as anxious 'bout it as you be. 

Madge, {enthusiast icaily) Oh, you darlin' old daddy! 
I really must kiss you for sayin' that! 

Madge flings arms around, Johnnie's neck and gives him 
a resounding smack. 

Johnnie. There, there! child, don't smack so hard or 



BACKTO \VN SPIR ITS. 5 

else try an' hit me so lue where else. Ye'll bust my rooter 
Hu" knock the filliiT all out of your teerh it' ye don't look 
out. ( /er s nose 

M(nl(l(\ {claxfnng /uukIs, loud) I couldn't help it, 
daildv, I'm so ha[)i)y! 

Johnnie. Theu it's all right? Ye really will marry 
him? 

Mudgr. {loud) Of course I will, and glad of tlie 
chance, but— but I alwa\s thought you was agin him. 

Johnnie. Agin him? Not much I but I alh^rs thought 
you was. 

Madge, {shakes head) No — {aside} only my mouth 
once in a while. 

Johnnie. (wUh saiisf(irNon) I'm glad it's all light, 
'cause Sam an' 1 was talkin' 'bout it this very mornin'. 
He thought — 

Madge. { interrup/s ) Sam ? 

Madge clasps hands and stares at him in astonish incnl, 
month half open. 

Johmtie. Sartin, Sam Solid, ye know, he's well otf an' 
will make ye a tarnation good husband, even if he is a 
leetle slow tei- speak an' act. 

Madge. {lonAl tnd hesitatingty) But — but 1 thought 
you meant Jinjjnie Jumper. 

Jotinnie. dim Jumper? Not much! {('.i'asper<ited) 
If 1 ketcli him haugin' 'round here he'll jump off the toe 
of my cowhidn. {raises fist threatening y) He'd better 
not let me tind him makin' love to my darter-, without his 
pants is V)iler- plated. 

Madge. Hut — but L — I sort o' like Jimmie— an' L don't 
like Sam. He's slowei'ii a snail on crutches. 

Johnnie. ( nith satislaeli )n) He's S[)ry enough ter 
ketch the dollars, that's what I'm lookin' after— an' that s 
more'n ye can say of .1 im Jumper. Jim Jumper indee<i! 

Madge, {lon^l, trith s/n'rit) But I tell you L don't like 
Sam. 

Johnnie. I didn't ask ye to, 1 only aske<l ye to nuiiry 
him, an' ye said ye would. I. shall hold ye to yer promise, 
too. 

Malge. ((tside) Oh dear! oh dear! {ivrings hands , 
What shall I do? I did pr(tmisH daiily — though T tluMight 
be meant J immie an" he never'll f(»igive me if I don't 



6 BAGKTO \VX SPIRITS, 

keej) my word. 

Johnnie. Hani said he'd eoine an' talk it over with ye a 
h'etle soaietirue ^u),>n, may be tei-iiight — so L reck'f)ii I will 
540 over to the Deacon's an' give Jiiut a leetle cliauce to 
court ye, if he does come, [rises) Ni>w remembei- wiiat 
L said "bout haviu" Jim Jumper hangin' 'round, (cfeln h(it 
(did (/ors io n. E. ) Hope that cider is as good as Mjidge 
beared it w as! {exit K. E. 

Mibdije. { solus) Now what am I goiu' to do? 1 never 
will Jiiaiiy anybody but Jimniie— and bere I've promised 
to have Sam. t won't go back on my w<>rd at any rate, 
not yet — but somethin's goiiT to be done 'boat it later, and 
Sam Solid liad l>etter KK)k out. Ive got liaddy off before 
Jimmie came, anyway, that's one gootl job done. 
(irons, ivrap heard id R. E. — Madge (joes to R. E. qniclcly 

Enter Jimmie Jumper, it. e. 

Jimnde, Good evenin', Matlgi(- d«'ar. 

M(id(je. Clood eveni n", Jini]uie; lak<^ <>tT your overcont 
and sit down, {fakes his coal und lial ond }nds them 
(two if) Oh, Jimmie, I'm so glad to see you. I've been 
liavin' sech a time with datldy. 

Jiniuiie. \(n\ poor little gal, you! {puis arm around 
Madge and 1,-isses her) What's the matter with your 
father now? 

Madc/e. (>•/'/////) lit' he says I must many Sam Solid 
—anil — ^and I don't want to, Jimioie. 

( hides face (ni his shoulder 

Jimmie. Marry Sam Solid? That old slow-poke? 
{excited) Weil, I i-athcr guess not mncii — not while there's 
any jump le^t in Jim Jum})er! You re goin' to marry me, 
Mad-e. 

Madge, {bashfidlij) II hope so, Jimmie -(/oo/v8 u/>) 
i)ut but you see, 1 ])!'omised daddy I'd hav*' Sam. 

Jinnnie. (offended, pnsfies her airay ) Oh, all right — 
if you want to marry a feller so slow he has to take an 
X-rav apparattus to find out wliether his blood is really 
circulatii),' I don't care. Jim Jumper ain't built that way. 
{toohs around) Where's my liat? 

Madge. Oli Jimnjie. as it' I wanted any old Sam Solid 
when — when you are all the l)oy in the world i keer for! 
And iu)w when I'm in troubh', and feel as if I didn't have 
a friend in the world, you -you want to know w h«^i-(' your 
hal is. {puts handkerchiej to etjes 



BA CKTO WN SPIE I TS. 7 

Jiwmie. ((/ops to Madgk qinckly, laLcf^ doiru tier hands 
and ki:ises her forehead ) You leetle (iarlin'! if you want 
me yon shall have me. au' if you don't waot Sam Solid, 
yon shan't have hina. I'm yours forever, soul an* body, 
heart an' gizzard, boots, brains an' stummick. Hurray! 

{hugs her 
Madge, {looks up at him) Of course I don't want 
him but I don't see how I'm goin' to keep from takiu' 
him after 1 said I would; do you, Jimmie? 

Jinnnie. Do I? {exciied, rushes around stage) Of 
course I do! I'll go and kill him; that'll put a stop to it. 
(looks aronnd) Where's my hat? 

Madge, (lays hand on his arm) There, there! Jimmie, 
don't j^et excited. I begin to see what we must do. 

Jimmie. Do you? L don't— without you let me shut 
his win i oif. I can't see a blessed thing but just you, 
Madge. {puts arm around her and offers to kiss he)- 

Madge, {pushes his face auay) ]No, no, not yet. 
Jimmie, you jest kissed me once. 

Jimmie. {eagerly) I don't care if I did. Give me one 
more, darlin' — jest one —to keep tlio other one from beiu' 
lonesome. 

Madge, (pushes his face agaiu) No, sir! not now, I 
ain't a kissin -niHchine. 

Jimmie. But why not? I want to see if they all taste 
as good as that one did. 

Madge. Nonsense, Jimmie; behave yourself. This is 
a serious matter and we must d scuss it seriously. 

Jimmie. All right, darlin', jest as you say. I'll cuss it 
seriously if you want me to, if I die a-tryin'. {pulls chin 
doum urilh le.fl hand and assumes preleruatu rally solemn 
air) How's this for a {)hiz? Don't 1 look like the head 
mourner to a monkey funeral? 

Madge, {laughs in spile of herself) Shut up! you 
ailly boy. {boxes his ear lightly, he jumps aud clasps 
haud to ear) Didn't I tell yon I had made mv ])lans? 

Jimmie. No, did you? Sit down a minute and tell me 
over again, {sits R. of table, Madge l. ) What are your 
plans? 

Mffdge. First of all, you mustn't quarrel with Sam 
Solid. 

Jimmie. Nope not if you say not. He's too bii; ter 
quarrel with atiy-wny "thuut 1 have a shot-gun. But say I 



^ BACKTO WN SPIRI TS, 

'st)ose he's bound ter quarrel with me? 

Madge. Oh, in that case yfxi must get away from him. 

Jittimir. AW right, h)Tey, I'll try — but it's a [)ooty tough 
proposition. I liate to spend so much time squintin' by 
rHiice-f)osts to find out vvliich way I must go to get away 
from liiin. 

Mdihje. And you nnistn't quarrel w4th dadd}^ either- 
even if he don't like you or treat you very well. 

Jhnmie. Nope, J li liMve another reason for gettin' out 
o' old Johnnie's way, 'sides your tell in" me to. 

M'ldf/e. What is it, JiniinieV 

Jimrnie. 1 migld get liuit if \. didn't. Your pa's feet 
ttin't built much like your dainty little ones, pussie. 

( leans arcmnd edge of hdtle to see her shors 

Madge, [smiles) Behave yours^df, vou silly l>oy! 
(cuff's hint verfj soffljj) A nil you mustn't come to see nie 
any ruore at present, either. 

Jintmie. Gee whiz! 

JiMMiE draws back and stares at her in open-}nontlred 
astonish ment. 

Madge. It's true, you mustn't. 

Jimmie. What shall I do when I feel as if I must hug 
suthin or bust? 

Madge. Oh, you naughty Jimmie! When youfeel like 
that youM better go out to the barn and hug a bag o" bran. 

Jimmie. isholxes head) Don't want to. [\[ think I 
was enibracin' 'Mandy Johnson. 

Madge, {angri/, starts up) How do you know? Did 
you ever try it, sir? 

Jimmie. ( ri.<es ) Nope, l)ut ye see 1 — 

Matge. { infer rupts) Not a word, Mi-. Juniper. If 
you'vt^ been embracin' 'Mandy Johnsoti, L won't have any- 
thing more to do with you. 

Jimmie. [eagerly) But I haven '.t; I — 

Madge, [interrupts) Not another word. [stamps 
foot) If you haven't hugged her, why haven't you? I 
know shed like it. 

Jimmie. Oh, because — because my ami wasn't long 
enough and I didn't have time to do it on the installment 
plan. 

Madge. Oh, you didn't hug lier, jest because you didn't 
ha\e time — and now you actually come and tell me so. 



BACKTOWW sriBlTS. 



Go 'way, you nionstwr! you've biokeii \u\ lifarf. 

{puf!< hiin({hen'hu'J to jure and sohs 

JinDuie. igo^:^ f<> tirr, fries to stiff onii (iroiimt tier) 
But Madge, darliir. I - 

Madge, {juis/ies /tint <nr<ii/) (to 'why, you SHvai;e! 
You— \ou — you liuggin macliine! {ire<'/)s 

Jimiiiie. {stonliy) I ain't — leastways as far as 'Mainly 
Joliusou go»^s. I^'ye s'})(>se i'd keer auy thing 'hout lier 
wiieii you was fouud? 

Mndf/r. Th— that's jest it; I — I'ui 'afraid youM care 
for her when 1 wasu'r around. {s<ff>s 

Jinnnie. Can you see any reasou why 1 sh(»idd want to 
swap you for her? 

Madge, {sobs, face Iiiddeu) Ye — yes, sir; I can. 

Jiiiintie. Why? 

Mad(/e. Oh, because — because there's so much more of 
her. 

Jiinniie. {in disgust) Oh fudge! I'heie's more o' 
Sam JSolid thau there is o' me, but you say y«)uM rather- 
have me.. xV buzzard is bigger'n a partridge, but give me 
the partridge, any time — 's{)ecially secli a plump little 
partridge as you be. We've got enough to thiuk on in this 
scjape, 'tliout Hghriii'. C/(une. Madgie, let's iriake it all up. 
{('oaxiiigfy, Iciieeis on one k'nee and fitits arm around Iwr) 
Forgive me, won't von, deai ? 



Madge, 
Jinimie. 



Won't you ever quarrel with me again 



(steals took at fiitn, then Jiides f.iee agaen 
Never! so lielp me David Kazoi I 

{holds np left hand 

Madge. Nor witii (laddy? 

Jimmie. No, 1 won't — honest injuu! 

Madge. Nor with Sam Holid? 

Jimmie. (hesitates) No -o-nol if L can lielp it. 

Madge. You must lielp it -aiul I'll tell you how. 

Jimmie. How, sweetheart? Its goin' to l>e niiglity 
hard to keep from quarrelin' with that lummox, if I hapjien 
to get in sight o* him- -an' lie's big enough to see with the 
naked eye. 

Madge. Just this way: If you ever see Sani a-con«in' 
— or daddy either — you must get out o' sight soujewhetes. 
(io and hide if you can't keep from quarrelin' with 'em 
anv other way. 

Jimmie. (resolnfeli/) I'll do it, if you w(Ui't be mad 
with me any more— even if it does make me look find act 



10 BA CKTO WN SPIRITS. 

like a fool. Evry time 1 see either ot: 'em comin', I'll ran 
Tip stairs and hide under marm's bed. 

Madije. [smiles a hi in) That's the way to do it. 

Jimmie. All rii^lit, then -but how's that goin' to help 
us to get married? 

Madge. Oh, I hav«^u't gtt astVir as that yet We must 
tind some way to get daddy down on Sam, so he'll let me 
take hack my promise 'bout Mr. Solid. Trust me to hnd 
some way. 

Jiwmie. 'Iheii Til do it, Madgie; I'll do jest as ye tell 
me in ev'rythiug. Say, h)vey, (co(u:inglij) liow 'bout that 
air kiss now? 

Madge, {coquettishlij) Will just one do? 

.1 imnue. {rriefidhj) U its all I can liave, t s'pose it'll 
have to — leastways for a minute or to. JL4urry up, Madgie, 
put it right on where it b' longs. 

Madge, [pouls coqneHish/t/ and lo(>k.> don-n) if you 
knew half as niuclias Sam So. id, you wouldiri staid there 
all night, coaxin' me foi- a kiss. 

Jimmie. {ink emphasis, fion risking lefi fisi ) Darn 
Sam Solid! What would iie do? 

Madge, {soflh}) He — he'd just up and take it. 

Jimmie. Drat W\\n\ He'd jest better hailn't. I can do 
bnsiness enough in that line f«>r both of us. Poke up your 
l)ill. birdie, I'm comin". 

Jimmie sloops orer Madgi^ -fearful coughing and slam/p- 
ing <>J fei I heard off K. — Madge breaks aicay and 
darts L. 

Madge. We're umhme! 

Jimmie. That s so and nobody to do us up ag'in. 
Plague take it! Why don't folks know when they ain't 
jjeecled? Who is it, M?ulgie? 

Madge. ( kesilafingly ) i — 1 don't know, unless — uidess 
it's Sam Solid. 

Jimmie. {angrif) Daru his pictur! What ye havin' 
him come to see y()u for? 

Madge. I never- asked him to come, Jimmie; it w;is 
daddy, i doiTt want him. 

.fimniie. J'hen it'll l)e me that asks him to go ag'in — 
an' if he don't go, it'll be me that's roostin' on his w ish- 
bone, to. [l/oes B., flourishes Jisis 

Madge, (rushes quickly forward and seizes lum by I he 
arm ) Oh .limnjie, you mustn't do that. You'll ruin evfiy- 



BA CKTO WN SPIE ITS. It 

thing. Ton promisesii nie y^>^i wonici hiile away from Sain 
rather than quarrel with him, atid now's the time to kee*.* 
your word, (coiic/hiiig and stamping of feci renewed ont- 
aide) Quick! he's coming. 

Jiinniie. All right, I" 11 do it - hut where can I hide? 
Behind the clock or in the stove-oven? {ho/h run (Hxml 
atage in great cjcifement, stamping of fccf rrnenie(t) I 
reckon I'll haA^e to make the table do, so here g«)esl 

JlMMiE dives under table from B.., Madge snatc/ies fl(d-iron 
and irons Juj'io.isly. 

Enter Sam Solid, k. e. 

Sam. (appy'oarJies slowly and awkicardly, lad in hand) 
Good even in", Miss Mugby; L thought 1 wouhl c<»rne ovei* 
te \v - t e w — te w — ( h es it a fes 

Madge, {pertly) I didn't know yt)U stuttered, Mr. 
Solid. 

Sam. I don't. I jest come over 'cause 1 wanttd tew — 
tew - {stops 

Madge. Two what, Mr. Solid? 

Sant. No, not tew what. Tew a.sk you tew — tew — tew — 

Madge, {infrrrni)!.^) If you're goin' to he "tewin" 
'round all night, ye [getter sit dow n. Theres a cheer ovei' 
there. ( ixnuls to chair i,. 

Sam. Thanky; I reckon I l)etter sot tlown right here, 
Miss Mugby, so's tew — tew — - 

Sam places hat carefnJly on floor and sits R of lable while 
talking JiMMlE peeps at him from n' dcr lable, places 
hand on stomach and makes face as if sick. 

Madge. All right, suit yourself, Mr. Solid. {irons 

Sam. 'Ijiaidvy, my dear. («llMM[E sha\rs fist at him 
from nndcr t^tblr) Ye see, Miss Madge, L jest come over 
so as tew- as tew — 

{stops and mops face with bandana handkerchief 

Madge. How come ye in sech a stew, Mr. Solid? 

Sam. i — 1 dunno, Miss Madge. 

JiMMlK c<inli<nisly gets Sam's h(d and pnts it on back of his 
head, rests cl'iows on floor and maizes face at Sam 
aronnd table leg. 

Madge. You sound like one o' these Mesky ;)ttymobeel8 



12 BA CKTO WN SPIBITS. 

w itlj tlint everlastin' tewt! tevvt! o' yourn. 

JiMMiK siKldriilt/ 1)11 Us off h(d, scratches head violently 
and then gazes into hat augiily. 

Sdin. Wislit [ was one, 'cause their tewfcers go off by 
^assylene an' mine won't go off a tall. ( JiMMiE draws 
hu(/e jack-K-iiife, shidces lia^ violently mith the crown up- 
ward, and then hastili/ s/a6.s Jloor several limes, as if at 
somelliing particnlarh) active) 8a-say, Madge, (rises 
anjl leans over table) I — I seen yer pa tei-day — [in much 
(Uarnt) an' — an' — an' he giv' me lief tew— tew— tew — 

JiMMiE puts hat on Sam's chair and dodges bade under 

t(d>le. 

Madge, (hastily) Never luiiul daddy, Mr. Solid, he'll 
he in i)ooty soon. Make yourselt* right ter home till he 
gits bnck. 

8((ni. Thanky, Miss Mugby; 1 suttinly will, [di'ops 
liearily into chair) Oh, lordy inighty! 

Sam spreads fingers to their vlmost and stares at Madge 
fi(H-ror-stricI\'en, month open and eyes bnlging. 

M<aige. {drops fl(d-iron ami clasps hands in, alarm) 
AVliat is the matter, Mr. Solid? Are you teething? 

Sam. I— I — tljought J. heared suthin sort o' scrunch! 
(halt' rises and draws lud from nnder tiim) Oh, gorry 
Peter! 

Sam holds lad at arm's length and stares at it in horror^ 
n'tiile JiMMiE ^oes t/t/o silent ecstasies nnder the tidde. 

Madge. What ye got there? [stares at had curionsly) 
Some new tangled sort o' contraption tt^- f ?y flap-jacks in? 

Sam. HeavtMis ter Betsy! Look at tliat air hat? 

Madge, (snrprised) Hat? 

Jimmie. {peeps ont and sniclxers, aside) Looks more 
like the humper of a freight-keer. 

(shakes with suppressed mirtli 

Sam. (inournfutly) My best go-ter-meetin' beaver! 
\\'liy Miss Mugby, my pa was married in that hat. 

Jimmie. (pokes Jtead out (ui l. side, aside /o Madge) 
Never' II ketch another tool in it -will they, Madge? 

Madge, (aside /o JiMMiE ) Sli! (mofiois liim h irk) 
K<"Hp out o' sight, (/o Sam) Why, ain't that tew bad? 



B A (yKTO WN SP JR I TS. /.? 

What ails it? It looks as if li»>btinn* must Iimvh shtick t 
endways. 

Sam. {wiih griert'd air) Why, Miss Mn^hy, 'twas imh 
that sti'iick it that way, 1 sot ontew it. 

Jimmie. [aside, f^vntU-hes his head vyoroiislt/ (tiid 
peeps af Sam) IMI bat he killed some of 'em! 

Mad ye. {surprised) Sot ontew it? What foi-? 

Sam, [rueiiiUy) That's j(^st what I want ter know. 
(looks at hat) Couldn't lia' been i^v make it look [)ooty, 
iH>w could it? 

Jimmie. (aside) Looked as pooty as when ye wore it 
wdjere ye generally dew, 

Madge. Wiiat made ye |)ut it in yei* cheer? 

Sam. Didn't know T did, thonght I |)ut it on tfie floor. 
'I'liere must be spirits 'round her*^. ( looks arounil tri/dly 

Jiiumie. (asidr, peeping) Tlien iifive us a snitter, ye 
stingy old soap-barrel! 

Madge. Spirits? Nonsense! I don't believe ni 'em. 
You must have put the hat on your cliair and then forgot 
it. 

Sam. {puis h(d on floor agavn) Then i kuow wliat it 
was made me, Miss Mngby.' 

Sam rises and leans pituderovslfj over the table toicards 
Mabg^, planting one foot sqnavelij on >}imuie'^ fingers 
as fie is f^lyly trying to get 2^ossess on of file hat ogain. 
— lie mattes hideons faees ami vainly tries to drair his 
hand away. 

Madge. (hastilyY There, there! Mr. Solid, sit down, 
you make me nervous, leaiiin' on my ironin'-table like that. 

Sam. All right, Miss Mugby, anything tew obleege a 
lady, (sits down and releases Jimmie's fingers, wlio first 
claps them into tiis moidh, tlien sfiakes tJiem and. matves 
another face) Sfiy\—( stutlering) d-d-do ye know what it 
was that sorter—sorter mixed me up, my d~dear? 

Sam puts arm on table and stares at her witli hole of 
mingled terror and stupid admiration. 

Jimmie. (aside, angry) Gosh darn his pictur! {starts 
to crawl out tonard Madge, aside) I say, Matige, I can't 
stand ev'rything, more'n a woman. I'll — 

MAdge wildly lluealens him witli flat-iron and he dratrs 

back. 



U BA CKTO H W SFl R ITS. 

M<((Jge. [aside to ilWKY?.) For lieaveii s sjike, keep 
back: [to Sam) VVbat— wlml (itd yon say, Mr. Holitl? 

S r)ti. {(leapevately) I — I said you was my d— tl— dear! 
Oh lor! {chfps hrnid over his oini inoiiih in terror 

Jitnmie. (aiigrili/, starling lo craict out again — aside) 
AJtove I'll let auy mascaliiie binich o' soapfat call my gal 
his dear — oh lor', I'll — 

M((dge. ( iiiterrirpts, aside to Jimmie) No, no, get 
l>Hck, qirick! (kicks at him icildly 

Jitnmie. O — ooch! (hastily draivs hack and pokes his 
head out front, holduig on to nose, aside) Don't like 
pokin' my nose in other folks' business— 'speshily the 
shew -business. 

Madge, (to Sam) Don't call me that ag'in, Mr. Solid. 

Sa.m. All right, I won't, I'll caM ye — {scr<dclies liead) 
I'll caJl ye — my darlin' old tootsey-wootsey! Oh heavens! 
I I've done it now! 

Sam til rows himself back in chair, staring at her liorror- 
>tricken with moutli ludfopen. 

Jimmie. Leetle artichokes an' mighty puukins! I'll 
mash that feller's head if it takes ev'ry jiose I've got in the 
world! 

Jimmie .v/ar/s (mce more to crawl out and Sam sees his 
h'-ad above table-top, nnth tlie table-cover over it. 

S(fm. (ttirows uf* hands witJi fingeis spread wide in 
fear) Massyfnl Moses! tliere be spirits here, there comes 
(Hie of 'em. 

Madge, (in, conslernation) Yes, yes, it's a spirit — but 
1 can driv<> it off. [pnts iron on Jimmtk's tiea<t and bears 
don-n with t)oth h((nds, aside to him, wildly) Don't come 
out! for heaven's sake, Jimmie, don't! I'll stop him if 
you'll only stay hid! indeed I will. 

Jimmie. {gurmhlingty, as de) Then ye'd better be 
'bout it, 'fore yer tni old l>eMU hnds hisseU' the wust cou- 
ilensed Solitl there ever was yet. (subsides, grumljling 

Sam. (sta/ring) H-has it gone? 

Madge, (hastily) Yes, the spirit has gone. I've 
drovv-^ it off. 

Sa.m. { caulionsly) AVon't it couie bac^k ag'in? 

Madge. Not if you wftn't call me any more pet names. 
That's what makes it mad. If you make love to me any 



BACKTO WN S/'IJ^ I TS. r.> 

more, it will coiu« back to stay, and I won't 1)p MiisweinUlt* 
for the consequences, so be caielul. 

Jimmic. { aside, grunibliu(/) Tliat's right, by jiiuiny! 

S(im. If it don't hear me make love tew ye, yt)irre sure 
it won't come back? 

Md'igf. No, no, of course not! 

S<n}i. B-but how can 1 make 1-1-love tew ye witliout it 
hear ill' me? 

Madgr. (impatiently) Oh, 1 don't know. If you're 
not sniar-t en<uigh to find a way, <jjo without it. ( irons 

Jiufinie. {aside, shaking ivarniiif/ puger at 8am ) And 
if ye are smart enougli ter find a wa}, go hang yerself. 

Sam. {joyfully, after thinking a moment) 1 liav' it! 
I know now! 

Madge. ( curiously) How? 

Sajn. {mysteriously) Ye won't let them spirits know? 

Madge, (eagerly, dropping voice) No, no - of course 
not. 

Jiiinnie. (pokes head otd front and tries to overhear^ 
aside) Wiiat's goin' on now, I wonder? 

Sam. [ivifh hand to mouth in stage tr/n'sper) I'll write 
it down. 

Madqe. (coqtietishly, in low tone) How cute vou aii', 
Mr. So'lid! 

Sam. {complacently) Ye-us — that's what marm ^ays 

Le' me see. ( fumbles in pockets and finxdly produces 

paper and the stump of a lead pencil) H«re tliey t)e; now 

how sliall i begin? 

(puts p'^iicil point in his mouth and stares fixedt y (d ceiling 

Madge, {softly, leaning totoard him) Well — what are 
you waiting for? 

Sam. Transfiguration. I b'lieve it's a-comin'. 

{screws up f ice and stares harder thnn ever 

Jimmie. (aside, anxiously leaning J nrther out to peep 
at 8am) What's lie uf> to now? 

Sam. (enthusiastically) Hooray! I've got it! 

Sam leans over table and ivrites very slowly, screwing up 
his ,ace and chewing out the letters one at a ttme. 

Madge, (quickly) Got what, Mr. Solid? Or -up? 
Sani. No, no, Miss Mugby; wusser than that. It's 
poetiy. (nrites lalxn-.oushi 

Madge. Oh my! (tickled) I never knowed you was 



16 BA CKTO WX SPl R 1 TS. 

H po^^ter. Who is it to? Me? 

J.nmiie. {aside, peeping ) The lunkhead is writin' — • 
Hii' lie says it's {)oetry! It must be pooty paiiitiil business. 
He lo(»k« like he was chawiii' shew-iuaker's wax. 

{siibsidei^ 

S((m. Sar tin it's ter you. There! You've «;()t my idees 
all saitMiuibol)uhited. Let's see, what was it I was goiii' 
lee say iiextV {bite's pencil and s1<n-e.s at cea ing afjaiii 



M((d</e'. it is to me! Oli, how sweet 



{clasps hands in enthnsiasni 

S nn. Well, I reckon 'lasses fuJ«;e will be vitiegar to it 
w hen 1 git it all writ. Oh, 1 know ni>w. 

{ivrites, same business as bejore 

Jinnnie. (aside, peeping) Grosh! 1 should thiidc so! 
He acts as if he was makin' a sweet mess of it. 

yfadije. Oh, hurry up! i. can't wait till L see it 'cause 
I allers did love sweet poetry. 

Sa\n. Don't be so umpalient, Miss Mugby. Ain't I 
hurry in' jest as fast as 1 can? ( ir riles laborii/nsly 

Jimniir. {asi'lf, watchiny) Sartin! Jest watch that 
pencil go. Must be 'lectricity in it. 

M<i(l</e. (eagerly) I didn't know you had the tires o' 
poeii-y in your soul. How long ye had 'euj? 

!SanL {complacenfly) Oh allers but they never broke 
out till jest a minute ago. 'Ihat heavenly sniil^ of yt>ur'n 
teched 'em off. 1 feel now as if the whole Nine Mousers 
was trav'lin' round and round on the top o" my ilicky an' 
breatliin' sweet nothing in my ears as they go by. 

( n'vites 

Jimmie. (aside, scoynfulltf) Yes — and ye look as if 
the breath of evry on© o' them Nine Mousers must smeb 
like a glue-fact'ry. 

Madge, (eagerltj) Ain't ye got it 'most done? 

S((nL Yes — jest a minute now. M — y d— e— a— r— 

(ivrih'S 

Jimmie. (angrili/, aside) Here! Ye shan't write no 
sech stuff ter my gal. 'thout 1 have a hand in it. Hurry 
up, old boss! if-eizes table-leg and shakes it violcnllt/ 

Sam. {straightemng up) Hold on, Miss Mugby. don't 
joggle this table so. That last g of mine's got a tail to it 
more'n four inches long. 

Madge, nh, i never! You must have dreamed I jog- 
o|h(1. Never mind; finish ray poem, quick! 

Sam. Wall, i will— only sech disturbances git me ail 



BA CKTO \VN sri II I TS. 17 

flabbergasted up so 1 cbii skuisley tell the j^ecoiid staiizy 
from tiiH fust afxistroplie. Hold yev breath now, so's not 
terjar ixtthiij'. ( inU<f<, JuviMiE fihakfs tahle more violeid- 
ly ) Holy fishhooks! 

( fhrotvs up hands and >ifares af idhlr. in horroy 

Madge, {hasfily Irijing to look under /able from l., 
afiide) Stop, Jiiuinie, it's all right, {to Sam) What's 
the uiHttf^r, Mr. Solid? 

Sam. {leirijied) Matter! That darned old table I 
"Was tryin' ter write ojj is (MH\Aliir all over the kiteheu. 

Madge, (hastily ) Oh, no, it isirt — or it it wms, it must 
have l>een an eai'thqnake. It's all rioht now. 

Sam. {brightens up) Mebbe it was an Miitli(|UHke; 1 
uevei' thon<>ht o' that — or piapa ifs loose in the jiiita 
souiers. ( tries table iriih his hands ) it does seem })nlii{«k- 
\j stiddy MOW. 

Madge. O' cour^^e it'^< stiildy ! 1 told you it's all rioht. 

Jimniie. (aside, peetii'ng ) You bet! 

Sam. Then I'll tinish the poeiry. Le.*s see, w her*^ was 
I? (leans over t(d)l(' and ran Ills off' letters o}i pa/)er iriih 
motions of his pencil) M-a-d-i; Oh yes, e comes next. 
(ivriies, Jimmik lifts t<ible np ah<nit a loot at Sam's end and 
holds it there, Sam starts to feet in (fn agony of fear, 
Madge stares wildly for a ni >meid\ then, hears di-wn on 
table with both hands, Jim Mil-: lets it drop n-ith a bang) 
Holy Moses! what's sjOt inter tliat table 7iow? {rises 

Madge. Oh, nothirt'! - (A /r/.s tcildly under table) J 
mean there's spirits in it. They must liave come back, 
arter all. Didn't yee\er heni" o' spirits lippin' tabh^s? 

Sam. (wildly) Spirits agin? Oh, gorry mighty! 
(clasps hfuids and sinli'S hack to chtn'r irith alook <f horror, 
JlMMiE kicks it jrom under him cnid Sam fdis heavily to 
ihejioor) O-oli! (iKurlmg as lie strikes 

Madge, (chisping hands in alarm) ( )h. my gra<-i(^ns! 
What did you do that for? [rnshes io him ) Did you 
break anything? (helps him np 

Sam. ( rises niih diffienliy, groiaiing and rtd)hing in- 
juries) Oh, (di! 1 think I must have oh! 

Madqe. ^{sympathizinqhj ) Y(m poor, dear man! 
What was it? 

Sam. The record o' I'allin" bodies. Where's my hat? 

( looLs around 

Madge. Don't go yit; you haven't linished the poem. 



18 BA CKTO WN SPIRITS. 

W]iat mnde ye set dowii on the flo«>i? Was ye tired? 

JinDnle. {(iside) 1 reckon lie must liev \>emn. Hb 
made it)© tired. 

Sam. 1 didn't; I sot down on tlmt pesky cbeer — anil it 
wa'ij't there. 

Madge, {(mxiously) But y© tlidn't really break 
uotliin' — I mean none o' yonr mfiriiintTy or inside fixiiTs? 

Jimmie. (aside) It* lie didnt lie's tougii. [snickers 

Sam. No, 1 reckon not, but my liver is joltt^d cleHu 
down into my shoes, {/yirks up chair) i woiuiei- what 
got inter this blame thinj^, anyway. {examines it 

Jiininie. (aside) ion didn't, tiiat's sartin. 

( snioker.^ uyain 

Madge. It must liev been them spirits what <»:ot int<» 

Jimmie. (aside) Spirits! (vknekles 

Madije. Don't let them hinder you from finishing- the 
verses. They are all gone now. [kicks irarningly a! 
fllMMlK) The charni is broken. 

Si I in. I'm begin idiT ter thiid\ so by the way it feels. 
Oh! [groans and rubs injuries 

J ininiie. (aside) Keep on an' it will be, it 'tnin't now. 
(shakes fist id Sam and. do iges back 

Madj/e. Come! here's yonr pa()er all ready. 

Sam. 1 can't jBinish your poem ter-day. 1 ain't trans- 
Hguied any more, it's jolted all out <»' me. 

Jiiumir. (aside, drawling derisively ) Ya-as! 

Madge. Come, do finish it, Mr. Solid jest to please 
me. 

Sam. Wall, mel)l)e I'll try once more, for yonr sake. 
(re.^ls cJiair on one leg alter the oilier and triers il by bear- 
ing do IV n heavily on ttie back oj d ) Tli« cheer seems all 
right now; 1 can't stait it nowhere. 

Jimmie. (aside) lean. {snickers 

Madge. Of c »urse you can't. What did I tell ye? 

Sam. (slowly api>roaches table with cfrair ) Wall, here 
gctes l)utev'ry blamed idee lever had, Seems ter be jolted 
clean down inter my wind peep. 

Jimmie. (aside) There won't be encnigh tfer choke ye. 

Sa,m. I'm some 'fraid «>' thom spirits yit, but mebVje 
they won't trouVjle me any more.. 

Madge. Have no fears, I'll see they do not. 
(kicks Jimmie under table, he conipla ns in dumb show 



Sam. ( phtces <-h(n'r (it lithlc) The tfiMe sHf*,ms all 
right, tew, {ivies it) 1 can't start uothiu'. [leans on 
fable and sits almost down in chair with great dcliberaiian, 
Ihen st((,rii< up suddf^idi/ <nid tool:.< <ii it over right shvnlder) 
It is there, [same plan <'' '^ looJcs at chair over te/f 
skonldf^i- ) It s^artHiiily is. I guess it's all ri<i;ht now. 
Tliey must liave gone for good. 

Sam drops heavilii, Jimmik A-/cAs cli'iir dear acroi^s »ta<je, 
Sam comes doini trifk a Ixitig. 

Madge, {horrified) Oli, my! Mr. Soliel! Get up 
quieli! You citni't look well tliat way. 

Jitnmie. (aside) Or the otlier, either! 

{gaes into ecstasij in panioiniine 

Sam. (groaning) ( )h, «>h! i dout teel well that way 
uuther. i groans and /fops over on hands and knees 

Madge, (in alarm) Oii, oh! is there a spirit under 
the cheer now? 

Sam. L reckon there must l)e — (on hands and knees, 
Jadng G. } an' by the great horu tnnkett, there's another 
one under the table fin' ill luassMcre him. 

r^AM. rises and limps toward table with difliruUy, all douhlsd, 
up, reaches under it after Jimmie, wfro cranh out 
from under otlier end, snatrhes off the cloth and throws 
, it over Sam, giving him a push that sends him sprawl- 
ing. 

Jimmie. Allers ketch yer skunk afore ye skin him, Mr. 
Solid. 

Madge, (waves arms in wild excitement) You've done 
it now! Kun, Jimmie, run, atoro he gits unki\eied, and 
he'll never know who ye l)e. 

[J IM.M. LV. darts off L. and Madge I allows 

Sam. {solns, unwinding himselldnd gelling on his feet 
with great difficntiy and nunifj groans) L thought and 
hoped L was dead at fust, but I'm goin' ter live for my 
revenge. 1 In^ared suthin' 'bOut Jimmie. if Jimmie 
Jumper is here, he's my me.tt. Somebody run off inter 
'tother room -and somebody can't git out o' the house any 
way but through tiiis one. (puts rtolh on tahte, sets c/iair 
K. (f it, and sets everythiiiq in order) I'll lay for that 
Jiui when he comes back — and if I can once git him inter- 
this cheer, I'll give him a dose o" s|.iiit« in the table that'll 



20 BA( \KTO II X SPJ II I VS. 

make his hair curl. 

( crawh under itthle wifh inany groann 

Enter Madge i.. e. 

Madge. Come on, Jiiuiuie; he's g(>iie. Tt's your turn 
now. ( c(.nu s doirn 

Sam. (peeping out front, asid/') 'Tain't uutlit-r; it's 
my turu now. 

Enter Jimmie, l. e. 

Jimmie. All ri^ht, Madgie dear; I' in with yon if Fatty 
riolid's gone. {'>^\M snntes fists together In d n nth show — 
noise hetird (\ff ^.) Oli, Lord! {exit i,. k. /// hnste 

Madge. ( exf>resses (tisnurtf in dnmh s/khv ) Oh, lieavens! 
he's ba(5k agin. 

Sam. (aside not seeing) Yis - fie's back agin —now 
ter give hiin a taste o' my spirit. I'll fixtiiat Jim Jmnpar 
in 'bout a minute. 

Enter Johnnie, r. e. 

Madge, {loud, impatiently) Well, what (io you waut 
now V 

Johnnie. I want ter git this ere business tixad all up 
ter-night; that's what I want. 

Sam. {aside) So dew I. 

Johnnie. Has he been here? 

Madge, {nods) Yes. 

Johnnie. And gone agin? 

Madge, (land) Yes. 

Sam. {asids) Don't be ter dumb sartin. 

Johnnie. ( hangs np hat) Js everything all right? 

Madge, (hesitafing, loud) I — 1 think so. 

Sam. {aside) if 'tain't, we'll make it all lighi as so()n 
as 1 git the critter inter that cheer, I'll show him spirits 

Johnnie, {sits R. of table ) (rood! (rit nie suthin' ter 
writ© with, so I can send for the rainistt^r right otf. 

Madge. All right, I will, {goes np c.) Oh, what shall 
I do now! (ivrings hands 

Johnnie. Hustle 'round, now; I'm in a hurry. 

Sam. {aside) Ye can't write on this table -there's 
spirits in it. 

Madge. { takes paper and pencil from shelf and goes 
to table) Here they be -there's the paper and there's a 



BA CKTO WX SPTR TTS. 21 

pencil, (pfifs fhfnnoH lahle) >»'('>\v I'll tinisli my ironin' 
Wonder if the flMt-ii-oiTH nil cnldF {}}'Js Jinf/cr in mxiih 
a}Kl tries iron) Tooly nigli, l»ut 1 reckon it'll iiMvetordo. 

( ircyns 

Johimip. {n'rHea lahorioHslt/) I'm glad I don't hav 
niMny letters ter write, 'cause I never was no scholar. It's 
'nn)st done, thank I'ortin! Le's see wh?it I've written. 
{reads) That's all right— (jiods head in salisf(irfion) 
only 1 forgot ter cross that t. 

ISaiN. ((iside) I'll help ye. 

{joiinli's idhlr as Johnnie (joes In m*o.?.«f it 

Johnnie. (looLs nf) angrilq) Sto[) that pcskx jigglin', 
Madge. Ye made me make a cross ter that t as long as 
my linger. 

M((d</<\ ( siirpriscd) You must be mistaken. I didn't 
jiggle nothin'. 

Johnnie. Well, nevei- mind. 1 reckon he can read it. 
Hnllo! I've left an I out. L must put thst in. 

Sdtn. (r/5/'(/e) Go aliead — darn ye! I'll help. 

(j'njLfles rinlenfli/ 

Johnnie. Tarnation! (to Madge, angrily) Didn't I 
tell ye not ter jiggle this tahle so? 

Madf/e. 1— L didn't. 

Johnnie. Ye did (ew. I was tryin' ter put 1 inter thi.s 
ere letter an' come pooty nigh tearin' 1 out of it. 

Mddfje. I— 1 didn't do it. 1 was ironiii' away jest as 
easy 

Johnnie, (anffrilij) Ye didn't? Then wdint sel (his 
ere lahle ter crawlin' 'round like a bewitched bedbug? 

Mtid(/e. [desperaltdy ) It — it must have been spirits. 
Didn t ye ever hear on 'em tip[)in' tables? 

Smn. {aside, dratrliii) Sartin! 

Johnnie, {scornfnllt^ ) tSpiritsI Huh! there ain't no 

spirits 'iound tliis ian(di. { stiddenly, aside) riiere\si 

them tinee tund)hn's <»' cider I had over ter the Deacon's 

, Has my head got tew weak ter stan' that muck apple-juice? 

1 must be more keerful next time. 

{takes up letter and. reads it aifain 

Madife. (aside, iro7is nerronsty) It must be spirit?*, 
this time -'cause 1 see the tal)le go myself and Jimmie's 
out in 'tother room. I — I'm skeere<l. 

{looks around trrrifird 

Johnnie. Sakes alive! What ails me ter-night? 1 



24 BACKTOWN St IB ITS. 

I have her, Mr. Mti5^l)y? 

Madife, The idee! 

Jitrnnie. (delighlrd) It's tlie fust one he ©T©r h«4, 
though. 

Johnnie. Not by a jugful, Sam Solid! 

Sam. {persisienfhj ) But — hut you said yisterday I 
might. 

Johnnie. I don't iveer if L did. Thin aiti'tyisterilay, it's 
ter-day — au' ter-day 1 say uo! 

Som. Then wliat air ye goiu' ter dew 'bout it? 

Johnnie. I'm goiu' ter dew this 'bout it, you ftcamp! 
Come <.m! (srizcs him hij car iind nlaris R 

Sayn. (hdnging bdck) L won't! Oh, h^t go! 

Jimmie. Yes, you will, tew - 'cause I'tn goiu' ter help 
old Johnnie dew "this" 'bout it. Hertz's yer hat now 
come on. {snafchrs >>\m'h h<if 'fntrn fioor and crfnvdf^ if 
over his ryes and ears down lo his chin) Now couie on! 

{ihci/ pnll hrni R. 

Johnnie. Let's give him a leetle more JHckjiss tieat- 
ment, Jimmie. All ready, now! One, two, thre ■! 

(thci/ k'irJ: Saw nf n. E. 

Jimmie. {comes down) ThHt's a good job tlone but it 
did iiurt my corns soiue, (holds np foot and sh<d\es if 

Johnnie. N-ever mind your corns; they 11 l>e all right. 
Ye jest had a poultice on 'em, ye luu>w. [all lanyh) By 
the way, Jim)uie, w hat are you liere for? 

Jimmie. (pronipffy) T'ew marry yer darter. Can [ 
have her? 

Johnnie, (driili/) [ thought likely, (/o M adgk) Well, 
Madge, what do ye say te?- th;it? 

Madge, {hanys head <(ud hrisfs fiioiers hashfnlly in 
ofn'on) I — I ,s'ay^ — thaid< ye! 

Madge steals a look ut JiWjMII and then lhr<nrs apr(m orer 

her lace. 

Jimmie. ( ecsiaiically ) H oo ray ! ( mns to M a i xi r: a nd 
uncovers tier face ) You angel! (/o Johnnie.) You see 
slie's willin'; u<»\\ wliat ye goin' tei- say 'bout it? 

Johnnie. Don't see it's much use ter say auxlhing - 
long as both of ye seem ter luive yer minds made up. 
How Koou can ye take her, .limniie? 

Jimnrie, (qiiickhj) Jest ms s^ou hs T can get a luiniste'?-. 

Johnnie, {dryly) Long as she's a minor, ye might git 



BA CKTO WX SPlH ITS. 25 

one a leetle sooner if ye took tliat i\n[(*. on the jGloor with ye. 

{ fxn'tfis in note on floor 

Jimmie. (pouncing on it) (llory! Yoii'ie a pH-in-lnw 
o' the gt-iiiwiue sort — but won't ye give \m both yer blessin' 
'fore 1- go? {kneels 

Mii(l(je. Yes, daddy, I cau't leave tlie only fathei- I ever 
fiad without I have his blessin' even with the bent boy 
in the world. { kiieeh, fa.cinci f) [MMIE, n-ho lakes posses- 
si(t7i of hoUi hfr himds) Won't ye give us a partin' bene- 
diction, daddy? 

Johnnie. \ reckon ^wouldn't make much diff' rence tew 
ye, if \vust conoe tet- wust — but y(^ shall have it, fHrall that. 
{e.rJends a ha nil oner the head of each ) Bless ye, my 
children (pf/az/cf^s oronnd oi lahle) but allers look out fer 
"Spirits Under the Table." 

or ETA IN. 

■■■■••■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■•■•■■•■■ca« 

The Turn of the Tide; or Wrecked in Port. 



A Nautical and Temperance-drama in 3 acts, by W. Henri 
AVilkins. for 7 male and 4 female characters. Nothing has been so 
popular with amateur companies as this. A capital negro charac- 
ter will keep an audience in roars of laughter. Time of perfor- 
mance, 1 hovir and 45 minutes. 



.SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 



The fisberiHHii's hoin«^— Reiniiiis.-»-(ji-f of the wreck— The gral fieri iig- «t*rm — 
Ref<i«^ii.<* to the motre.v Knt r.t lu-t* of the Pilot— Aunt Bfok.v f.xiM-esse.'* her 
opinion ol him Peppt-r lilis his fsloi.v The isun.set w^uti The storm hie.vK* - 
Sadie's sPfiet—Peppei- stiiu-U by li^'htning— Sijjuai ol distress ou the w^ter - 
Olxilp's* pioposistl "f h;»ve tlie powfi!" — Li'liao'-s secret— "Why <'nirt I die! H« 
ha?- fortViteil all claims to honor or respect, and hopelessly cjistine off, .\ pI 
nol witli.stMntling all this, I love him"' — Enti-aiice of CMyile — "Yon here? Bf;:OM.' 
and let yonr lips he wealed, or I'll cat ont your qniverinfr hciut a,iul lhr..vv"it to 
the Hshes who sport in yonder deep" C!lyde"s sollloqu.v — "Ah, r;i]>t. St. Mori-is, 
a tig for yoar grihled casties l>uilt on air'— Pirates rob the honse -Krisky's .oin- 
inniiiufi^ — She ;i n<l Pe pper h ;i ve a I i t ll»" fall i ng: out- Pf ppei's pni-snil «>f Uriow- 
|ed;ie nnder the tahle-~(11yde shows his colors aud plays his Jirst c;i rd - "Then 
niy answsr mnst be yes, thon^jh it brejHks the heart of iny child" Th^ old ncm 
tries to drown his sorrt»« - Pepper jjoes for clams — Entrance of Lilli;in -'Ye.«, 
pir;ite tboajJ^h yon are, and ciiicltain of the hunted cre'w, I love yon still! The 
lime will come when yon will find I am the truest friend yon ever hiid" -Aunt 
Ke.'ky relieves hei-self ofa few ideas juid Pepper j^ives ber a few more Tlic (»l.l 
lishermaii falls a victiiw to lutein per;tn<-e. and Aunt Becky expresses hei- 
oxjinion of "sich doiiis" — Meeting of Clyde .ind St. Morris The trombat Death 
Ml t'lyde -"Oh. Heaven! Iain his wife" — Tableau — One year later -('otnpany 
ext»ected — Pej>per has a "wery curis' dream -('apt. St. Klorris relates a stot > 
to sasie — Lo^e-making' interrupted l)y the old tisherniati - His n^sohition to vt-- 
form -Aunt Becky thinks slie is "Slurred ' rjllian comnuiius with her own 
thon<;hts- The C'olonel arrives- Pepper laUes him in cliar<>e anti relates a won- 
derful whalinjf story — Restoration of the stolen uione>--"'J'he swrne face, 
Heavens! 1 cannot be mista ken'" "II "s a II out'- -The t:«>lonel finds a daughter 
--H«>. tells tiie story of hi« escape from the wrecl< -Old fi lends mc.-l The 
t'olouel's proposal and ai-ceptauce "Bress de Lawd !" - Ha p|)\ en.lini.'. wiib 
•oug »Hii chorus, "Wait vo^ the tihx tF the tide.'" ' Price, jiScts. 



-fe»NE W FLAYS.m^ 



i\>Jlo\N iiig are the Plays recently ndded to tlie list of 

Ames' Series of Standard and MinorDrama 



Pheelim O'Hooke's Curse. 

All irish Drama in 4 Acts, lor 15 male and 4 female 
characters ; doubles in cast sotliatit can be produced by 
7 males and 3 females. The author, Geo. A. Simms, is 
rapidly coming to the front as a play writer, and in tins 
piece he seems to have displayed his talent in a marked 
degree. In this piece abounds tine situatioos, uiilookc^d 
lor developments, etc. ; can be produced by amateurs. 

SYXOPSIS OF EVENTS. 

ACT r. Scene 1st — Laurel Court, Euo^land. 'J'he niipe.il and rr- 
rn:^al. riiewhip. Threat. Curse of Pheelim O'Kookc. Tin- hnnl- 
i 1 1^' party. Hn.j^li Carlion. A datiiierous servant. Sou,^, "IJivant 
Olin I" 'J'lie accident. Mrs. Carlton and Olin. Scene 2d — Plieelini 
O'Booke. "Kevenue is sweet !" Sc'ue 3d — Deatli ot Lord Carlton. 
'*Fheelim O'Rooke it was!" 

ACT IL Sc'uie 1st — Bryant Olin and Huo^h. A peiiloii-j undor- 
takin^r. Hui>li in dani>er. Scene i^d — AtUiUipt lo kidnap Wwrh 
hustrated by Bryant. 'A cowardly blow. Scene 3d — Mrs. Carlton 
at home. News of IJnwii. Despnir. The i)r(Mnise. Scene //tk — On 
the coast. Bryant Olin ns a detective; disouises as a tiddler, and 
meets the ^-an;^. Scene 5th — Biddy McGee, the "Island star." Hu^rh 
and PlH^elinK "Cuo-ed at last.'" The idiot boy. The wreck. 
Bryant Olin rtnds Hugh, and i- discovered by Biddy, who gives the 
alarm. Scene 6th — WooiJs. ICscape of Bryant. 

ACT III. Scene Ut — America. II iii-h as newsboy. Ira Colton, 
a friend. Scene 2d. — Otlice «»r Ira Colton. Hno;h as Peter Donelli. 
Olin in America, in search ot Hnoh." Svene Sd — The den. Pheelim 
and Peter. Peter tcUs his adventure. Scene 4th— Gvo^j^^Uot^. Peter 
and Bryant. Bar-room tight. Scene 5th— V\\^ den. Peter and 
O'Rooke. Capt. Lennox. Peter's illness. Suspicions, Trouble 
ahead. Apian. O'Rooke drunk. Capt. Lennox carries off Hn^h. 
Bryant in search of Hugh. "Too late!" Mrs. Donn(;yhue. The 
cui-se. 

ACT IV. /Scene /sf— Club room. News of Hu <:;]»' s escape. Len- 
nox and Clemment to the rescue. Scene Sd — Huoh escapes from 
window. Capt. Lennox and Clemment. The arrest of Capt. 
Lennox. Scene 3d — Capture of Huiili by O'Rooke. Scene 4th — The 
de>i. Thebaii:ain. Son.i>;. Rescue of Hugh. Death of O'Rooke. 
Meeting of mother and son. End ot the Curse of Pheelim (/Rooke. 



THE CnMAIEHCIAL 

IIRUMMER. 



A Drama m 3 Acts, by Thorn Melross, for male and 
2 female ckaracters. This piece is immense. It is printed 
f'om the author's original manuscript, and has been pro- 
ciuced with great success by the American Theatre Co. 

ACT r. Home or tlif 1m1<^ Jvicliard Mnrlow. Interview IjfMween 
Frank Ross and Lawyer J)ii«il«'y. The |)i<>us deacon nnd Verda 
Miiki-. HcMdinsj tiie w ill. Joe's doo- collar. KicliartI Marlow, the 
iMJ-e lieir. The child of rlie Darlv Continent in tronMe. Three 
vijJains. "Ten t!»ons.ind lo silence my tongue. I" Zadie. the de- 
serted uife of Jo] in Dudley. An attempted mnrder. Joe's little 
"harkcr'" interleres. i'l-acon and Joe. Frank and Verdn ; his 
resolve to beconie a 'M.'onnneivial I'rnmmer." Zadie uives Verda a 
lu.Miie. Mr. l)ndlev'.« ])ropotsai to Verda, and the misnndeistandiu^. 
Murder ot' Deacon FooU', and Frank accused. 'J'he striiotjle, "life 
or death !" 

ACT II. Zadie, V.-ida. and the tramp. "Fainted honches." 
"My kinjdom for >onie sonj>l" Booth and Zadie. Attempted 
mnrder otZndie : A-Jhtor. the tramp inlerteref*. and make?< Dudley 
hand oAcr a "WiiliaJn." K.>«>th and the Indian, 'i'oo much beer. 
The stolen will. Joe in the bairel. 'I'artret shootiiiif. V^erda'^ 
refusal to marry Dudley. Abduction of Verda. and Joe knocked 
down. 

AC'J' lU. Ashtor and R.>'>fh. Corn planters: '"['here's millions 
in them!" Olief the Swede. Zadie', the Census taker. Two 
•hTimmersI" Kej-cne of Venhi by Zadie. Frank di-covered by 
Kiehard, as Booih. -'He must, die!" A job tor Oiie. 'Tn the 
s<HipI" Hot and cold 'ooxe-. Olie and Booth to tii<> rescue of 
7.;t\^U\ Explanations. A new version o( McGinty. A love scene, 
(apt ore of Verda. S'lnposed dear/h of Booth. Frlg-ht and death of 
J>nd.ey. CaiHnre of Kichard. Frank and Verda secure the fortune 
at la.si! Zadie avenged and the ''Coiumercial Drnmnu'r" sells corn 
j>lasiierj no more. 



THE 

IntEllig-EncE nfficB. 

An original Ethiopian SiNetcji in 1 Sc(^ne for 3 male char- 

ncters— as produced at Ton\' Pastor's Opera House. 
This sketch is extremely ludicrous costtimos modern — 
time in representation 15 minutes. 



A NEW PLAY BY LIZZIE MAY ELV/YN. AUTHOR OF DOT. 
THE MINER'S DAUGHTER, ENTIFLED 



H"^ ^ _ >i^ 



Rachel, the Fire WaifJ 



A Dvamd m 4 ads, for 7 male and 4 female characters. 
Time of po-formanre, 2 hours. 



srwopsrs of f: vents. 

^(^^IT^' I.—Natiian Ellsworth's liomp— Ray a.sloop — Alarm of firp— 
Ra>- arid Drusilla— "1 am a Fire AViiif* — Tlie iwo papers— Hoport of 
Euafne liiivleij-irs death" — A mil Sophy and Barney get. into a row 

'I'abitha pacrks lier valise — Elmer and Ray -N;itli:in and Barnf^y 
arrive witli liarvey Jackson, who h;is :issiini.'d the name of Eutrm*' 
Rurleipii, who has been rescned from the lire — Drnsilla f«',co.u-ni/,ps 
him— The threat of murder— Barney sin<j3 "Swate Liltie RuLIut 
Cup," 

ACT IT. — Storm— Sophy griv<'s Nathan a piece of her mind — Parson 
(4reen receives a roui>h reception — Tliuncicr Jind I i eh tnin<j— Jackson 
recojrni'/es Parson Gi'een, alias Broclv — The threat — Brocic relates a 
little story — The plot to mnrder Elmer l<]lls\voi-t h and Engene 
Burleiuli" Barney and Tabitha — Storm continues Elmer starts for 
the Liiriithouse — Jackson and Ray— The \\reck<'d ship— Ray im- 
plores Jackson to <jo to Elmer's rescu<^. which liea'cfiises — "Coward, 
I will save him"— Elmer, Hay and Enumc Burlei;j^h— Eugene dis- 
guised as Capt. Brown— Drusilla recui^nizes his voice — Tabitha's 
oath, 

ACT TIT. — The forged clieck — Drnsilla again becomes a wanderer 

- Eugene discovers hrr note to Bay -AbducMion of Eugene Bnrjeigh 

— liarney is an eye witness — .hickson licenses Elmer of forging I. hi' 
check and lielps" him to escH])e — A lost letter — Tabitha, Barney 
and the Hour barrel— Jackson idls Bay :ibont the check — "1 never 
will believe him guilty" — A three month's pron»is(^— Nathan and 
Sophy — "it's my opinion it's a put up job"— Barney's pledge. 

ACT IV. — Ray as the wife of Jackson — The abuse — Jackson and 
}^,.,,(,1- — "['Ji 1),/ pven with yoa"--"Yonr doom is sealed"— Nathan, 
Sophy and Elmer in sejirch (»f Ray —The lost leiier turns up, 
which unravels the mystery of Drusilla — Eugene Burleigh gives a 
liistorv of the past, whi'eh clears Drnsilla of Ihecrinx'of murder and 
reveals lo Ray that Drnsilla is her sister - The e.\i)l<.sion, in which 
Jackson is killed— Tiie house enveloped in tlames— Firemen rescue 
the parly. 

PRICE 25 CENTS. 



THE 






MECHANIC'S* 

-^REPRIEVE. 



A Drama in H acts, by John M. Murphy, for 8 male and 

.; Jeincde cha/raclen^. Time of playing I 

hour and 50 minuies. 



■ — PRICE 15 CENTS PER COPY.- 



SVNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 



ATT T. - CoiiMit^l Harrin<iton informs his dfiuohter ^hivy, of Lester 
Wiisuii's Liiiei)(l(Ml visit — Dan Trogan ;intl llie liorst's .loiin Kogtrs. 
ihr meuhanic — His proposal accepted by Mary— "If a btx'iv kiss a 
body" — Annie and Mary — K. Z. Wali<er, as a tramp, appears— Ann it- 
interested in tin' lr:iinp — "Me heart is broke and me bifck is in llir 
same y:i r I,"' s:iys I ):in -("olonej g'ives iiis consent for Wilson to ad- 
<lress Marv — Mar\ ;ind ^^'ilson, the proposal rejected — "He's not hini;- 
i)nl a nu'chanic'' -A plot tt) ruin Joim Rogers — -The stolen money 
and murder ol" ('olonel Harrington- — .lolin accused of murder, by 
Wilson .Mary's faiih in her lover — Arrest of Rog-ers. 

MVV W. — The 1 ramp returns, meets Annie and Dan — Annie tells 
W^alker of the murder and Ihe con\ iction of Rogers — "lie hangs li>- 
day" —"lean and will save him" — Mary intercedes with tlnniovernor 
for a reprieve— Tlie reprie\e granted — "A ride for a life" — Walker 
t(^lls the Cio\ernor tlnithe murdered Col. Harrington, in order to sa\ f 
Rogers — Arrest of Walker, when Louise, Wilson's wife arrives. :ind 
swears she saw Lester Wilson murder the Colonel — Wilson and Dan, 
the bribe rejected— ^ Rog-ers in prison — Wilson visits Rogers — The 
insuU— Arrival of Mary with the reprieve — "Saved, John saved." 

ACT III. — A hipse of one year — Home of John and Mary Rogers — 
Walker and Annie as lo\ers — News of Lester Wilson's escape from 
prison — Mary's forbodings — Lester W^ilson's attempt to kill John 
Rogers, but is foiled by Louise— Dan arrests Lester — "Lester Wilst»n, 
you have wroni;ed me deeply, but I forgive you" — '*Ct)me frien(Js, 
let, us go in, night's shadows are closing around us. Its gloomy 
shades are too suggestive of the p;isl. nnd around the cheery fii-e- 
place 1 can see the faces of the friends, whose love for me waa luy 
iaivatiou, in the dark days before 1 was Reprieved. 



NOV 171909 

]VIy ^^Avful AVife. 

Comedy in 4 acts, by Joseph H. Slater, for 8 male, {can double to 7 
male) aiixi 3 feviule charneters. Costumes modern. A <• Letter piece, clean, 
Itrigkt and i/Uere.stiiii/. Thrilling cUltnaxex and comical sduations. OhaV' 
actera all huce profiuneni parts. iSot a dull inoiiieiU in the Entire pieo: 
TiriU of per/or mu nee. 2 hours and 30 oiinuic.i. 

.^i^ » ^» t -^mm- 

SYNOPSIS OF b^VKNTS. 

Hoiue rtf Jasper J. Muddle— Cliarles ;iud Ad.i— "You bet she's coming-, look 

oul. for tlif lOL'ouiOtiVf " — Arriv.-il of tlie "A>vliil WitV" wlio pioi-eeds to utaUo 
liiiiigs lively — "Ever simre I iiiiiriied .vour ir-spt-cted mamma, I havf f<lvrii up 
tblBkiiig"-A uif ssajse Iroiu Pliiiieas DaOblf r, wbo dabbles iu Science— .Ja--i'ei- 
J's soliloquy -Deacon ,Sp> der asloiiinied — "1 iiiU.>5t iuloriii Mrs. Muddle ol' tbe 
outi a;.'eou^' (ouduct ol her lui.sbaii<r— "Ob, the depravity of huiiiau naluit- — 
y;.l!y and the Dt-aoon lia ve words— "Verily. \ oiiiii; woman, y ou are a si iim bli ii^ 
bio. k iki the p.ttli of the rijibtrous'— •Mrs. Muddl«- ou the war-i);(th — Phineas 
Uubblt-r arrives U) .spend lii.s va»-alion with Mr. ami Mrs. Muddle, wliioh lra«l-< 
to mort' I'Ouip'ieatioBs \).\ ld>ler txplains lo Jaspt-r J. his ( 'oue«-nl rated Essence 
of Tlie Milk of Human Kimlness, whi<-h thev aj?ree to try on Mrs. Miidtlle -More 
(auiili .iars — Sammy Dohl>s, who applies for a situation, is hiir-ti by Ja^i>ftr .1 . 
and is tired, immedialeiy, by Mr^.. Muildie, who di.slilves liis red hair— Sally , by 
mistake, mixes Dabbler's Infallible Eradieater and Clapill.iry I'ra iismoufritif r 
and uses th»* wron^i one On Sainnn's red hair — " A f ter three I'.o^e.s hi.s mother 
wont know him" — Ja.spei* J. t^ives liis wife an overdose of Dabbler's Milk i>f 
Human Kindness — Deaeoa Spyder overliears an injvmrtant eonversatlon — "Til 
have them arrested for murder"— .\ lai-ge order for ice— Sammy looses all hi* 
red hail- The Deacon speaks iiis mind -The lost antidote — J.i>!per, who is 
thouifht to be insane, meets the doctor — Disastrons results — Mrs. Mndtlle re- 
turns t© life to thwart lier enemies— Deacon Spyder rt^ceives his just deserts 
—"Crushed again and by nay 'Awful Wife'" — "It's a terrible thing to Ite a heu- 
peeked husband." Price, :i5cts 



Old Phil's Birthday 



A Serio Comic Drama in 2 acts, by J. P. Wooler, Esq., for 5 maU 

and 2 female characters. Time of perfomance, 1 hour 

arxd 45 minutes. 



SYNO/'SIS OF EVKNTS. 

Conrtyard of Harddress and Co.— Bl««iche and Marion— Give and take— Phil 
tells the story of his life — Lionel r«>bs his father's safe — A confession to Franlc 
wlio furnishes the mone.> to hiile his crime -A promise -Phil in a passion — The 
die is cast, hope is extin<?n islieii -frank and Marion -.\ secret- "l<"or all our 
feHkes forego this journey to Lundou"— Ihe robbery dis.-overed The false key 
to the safe Frank a.-cn«<-.l ol theft— Phil's anguish— Lionel's regrets—Phi! 
leaves his old home— An interview brtwe.-n Phil and ^Mr. Hardd ress "Fr«,nk! 
I love yon" .A confession to Phil l.\ Grantly— Phils plan- Shield inj^ the gnilty 
one — Lionel cOutesKeti and clears Frank's name— Happy endinjc to "Old Phil'* 
Birthdav." Price, I5ct8. 



Somebod y 's JSTobody . ^ 

Farce lu 1 act. by C. A. Maltby, for :i malt- and 3 female characters. Dick, t« 
please a friend, takes the pari of a liij;!i toned Enalishuian, and pays hiii 
rej^peels to the dani{liter of Mr. Bibi-ins, who is very much disgusted with him. 
Oiek s endeavors to be "swell" and pl<-ase, are ludicrous in ctie extreme, AU 
eharacters have excellent speakinjf parts. Easily arranged. Time of per 
foroiHUce SO miuuteu. Price, 15ct«. 



^OuF Jack. 4^ 



»€€€^€€c^$€€i^^ 



A drama in H aciSy hy C. A. Slenman, for 7 male and 3 

^etuiiie cho'>'aciers. Time oj piaying, 1 kour 

and 45 minutes. 



SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 

ACT I. — Jack and Harry — The warning of counterfeiters — Julia 
KeuipLoii and Charles Deaii — Florence overhears iier iiusbaiids 
soliloquy — "V\n your wife and you will lind nie a thorn of the worsl 
kind" "Florence's story— -The murder — Florence mortally wounded 
and found by Jack, \viu> discovers iier to be his sister, she tells hiui 
It was Charles Dean who stabbed her — Death of Florence— Jack 
laivi's an oath to avenge her death— An attempt to murder Jack 
Sianion foiled — The broken engagement of Julia and Dean — 'J'he 
ilut-at Jack interferes — "Curse him" — Dean meets his accompiies 

- Tiie compact, "$80U each if we get rid of him" — An attemjU, \o 
uiiirdrr Jack, which failed — Jack finds a letter and his sister's 
I.iciure., which was lost in the tussle, which reveals to hiui that 
Deau is his sister's murderer and Charles Clark. 

ACT I!. — A girl with an interesting story — Lee's suspicion — "No 
mail from Jack"— Charles Dean disguiseil as Mr. Lee and Harry's 
IrientI, secures package of money from Mr. Kempton's desk and 
srcrets it in Harry's valise — The missing money found in the valise 
-Harry accused —"Father, lam innocent" — "Ulticer, doyourduty" 

— Fsca[)e of Harry — Grimes overiiears a conversation between Julia 
and Lee — Julia's dream. 

A('T HL — Grfimes' and Lee's plot to abduct Julia — Harry returns 
liome Meeting of brotiier a.nd sister — Jack's absence unaccounted 
for —Lee informs Mr. Kempton that he saw Harry take the money 
Julia pleads for Harry — Harry takes Grimes for a thief — Alice reads 
a little story for Lee's amusement — Mr. Kempion discovers Ilany - 
Lee denounces him — Julia comes to iier brother's aid — Alice, Lee's 
de.serted \\ ife confronts him — Grimes, who is Jack Slanion in dis- 
guise, takes off disguise and accuses Lee of his sister's murder — Lee 
atiempls lo shoot Jack, but is foiled by Alice, then shoots liiinself - 
iTariy vindicated by Uur Jack. Price, 15 cents. 

.A^f tei- tlie Cir-cus. 

Farce in 1 act, by Lawrence Chenoweth, author of "The Hoarding 
Hou.se Troubles," etc., for 4 male and 3 female characters. A 
typical l''aiiner, Doctor, witii an eye for girls, a Dutchman, who i.s a 
dinger, a Diidr out for a lark, a widow of forty-nine, and two mauls 
who fiiioy a fliiiation, make up the cast. Specialties can be intro 
dueed. T'ostumes modern. Time of performance, 45 miimies. 

Price. 15 dent* 



LATEST COiMEDY DRAMA, 



Uncle Jed's Fidelity; 



OR 



The Returned Cowboy. 



A Covwdy Drn}}i(t, by Bert C. Rawley, for 7 male and S 

/emale characlers. Costumes modenu Time 

of playing^ 2 hours. 



SYIfOPSI^ OF EVENTS. 

Mr. Western, a strong willed man, objects t(» his daughter marrv- 
iiig a poctr but honest man, and resolves slie siiall marry his frieiui, 
IJonald Reeves, a rich man — Isabel refuses — Uncle Jed arrives rr.mi 
the country and intercedes for Isabel, but Mr. Western retusrs lu 
believe Donald Rreve a villain — Donald Reeve's forsaken wife ai- 
riv^-s aiul iorbids Donald's attention to Isabel — l*eregrine Splattei- 
u\erht':irs Dnnahl threaten his wife, and becomes his partner for tin- 
purpose of bringing him to justice — Col. Western drives Isabel from 
his house— i5he reiurns with Uncle Jed to his country home — Donakl 
Reeve^s murtlershis wife and throws the guilt on Isabel's lover, RoberL 
Shelden — His ari'est and imprisonment — Robert escitpes and at last 
brings proof that Donald Reeves is the murderer — Donald arrested. 
Uncie Jed, Jasper, tlie negro, Polly and Peregrine Splatter make up 
the comedy parts— This is a play in which all the cliaracters are 
evenly balanced. Amateurs will find it a good one. Price 15 cis. 



The Obstinate Family. 

A faroe in 1 act, for 3 male and 3 female charactei'.-*. 
Scene, plain room. Everyday costumes. Ti.ne, 40 minutes. 
A lover's quarrel between two servants, grows by a verv 
natural proc^ess, into what threatens to Ije a ilomestic cyclone 
of vast proportions. The piece is a mere trifle but a. very 
cutertttining one. /C0P?ri^, 15 oenta. 



9^ 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

015 793 151 9 » 

^ .^ -^p 

A^mes* T^lavs-Continiaed. 



Bi 



MO Our Hot«l g 8 

W4 OHvet 8 ? 

'"I Onr ff-amllv T^^'brHIa"'.".".'.'..! i i 

♦00 Obstinate Family, The 8 8 

f^T Paddy Miles' Boy B 3 

t\7 Patent Washing Machine. ... 4 1 

Iffi Per«»ecuted Dutchman ^ 8 

186 PpofeR«ional Gardener ..41 

!» PoorPllicody 2 S 

^09 ©at WoTPwao -y ^ 

412 Popping the Question 2 4 

276 Printer and His Derils .The 8 1 

1R9 Quiet Family 4 4 

1«P ^'•o-nlarFix. 6 4 

IRO Ripples ■■ '... 2 f^ 

171 Ronqrh Diamond 6 8 

367 Room 44 ."..*.'.'. 2 

S1f> Rascal Pat. That. ' 8 2 

416 l>n>>«"i Rube. .■.." 2 1 

«R Rham ProfesHcr.The.. ..4 

29B Sppllin' Skewl, The 7 6 

300 <'«nta nano' r>auehter ^ 7 

1S« Hpwincr Circle of Period 5 

11!S 8. H. A. M. Pinafore 5 3 

RR Somebody's Nobody... 3 2 

JI27 «<trif»tlv Temperance ." 2 2 

282 Stage Struck Yankee...,.!!*.. 4 2 

941 Struck bv Lightning 1 8 

270 Slick and Skinner 6 

1 Slasher and Orasher .'. 5 1 

WR Stunld Cupid 4 

868 Snow Ball .■.'...■.' \',\ | 8 

846 Signing an Aetor 1 1 

418 Switched Off 8 

826 Too Many Cousins 8 8 

889 Two Gentlemen in a Fix 2 

187 Taking the Census 1 1 

167 Turn Him Out 3 2 

28 Thirty-three Next Birthday 4 2 

292 Tim Flannigan 5 

263 Trials of a Country Editor. 6 2 

1«« Texan Mother-in-Law 4 2 

281 Two Aunt Emilys. 8 

307 110,000 Wager 4 ?? 

312 Uncle Ethan 4 3 

269 Unjust Justice 6 2 

213 Vermont Wool Dealer 6 2 

7 Wonderful Telephone 3 1 

332 Which isWhich? 3 3 

151 Wanted a Husband 2 1 

.56 Wooing Under Difficulties. 4 3 

70 Which will he Marry? 2 8 

ISFt Widower's Trials 4 5 

147 Waking Him Up 1 2 

1.5.5 Why They Joined the Re- 
beccas 4 

414 Who's Who? 3 2 

403 Winning a Wife 2 1 

111 Yankee Duelist 3 1 

157 Yankee Peddler 7 3 

377 Yacob's Hotel Experience. 8 

ETHIO PIAN FARCES. 

204 Academy of Stars 6 

172 Black Shoemaker 4 2 

98 Black Statiie. 4 2 

The Little Gem Make-Up 



KO. M. F. 

258 Best Cure, The 4 1 

325 Coincidence. 8 

222 Colored S*»natorB , 8 

"•* Chop« 8 

190 Orimps Trip 5 

178 Gittin" 'Sperienee in a Doc- 
tor's Office 4 S 

158 Haunted House 2 

24 Handy Andy 8 

236 Hypochondriac The 2 

282 Intelligence Office, The 3 

319 In For It 3 1 

361 Jake and Snow 2 

88 Mischievous Nigger 4 2 

258 Midnight Colic 2 1 

128 Musical Darkey 2 

61 Not as Deaf as He Seems... 2 

358 Nobody's Son 2 

244 Old Clothes 3 

2,34 Old Dad's Cabin 2 2 

246 Othello 5 

297 Pomp Green's Snakes 2 

134 Pomp's Pranks 2 

258 Prof Bones' Latest Inven- 
tion 5 

177 Quarrelsome Servants .8 

107 School 8 

183 Seeing Bostinsr 3 

179 Sham Doctor 8 8 

248 Sports on a Lark. 8 

92 Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 

288 Strawberry Shortcake 2 

128 Select School, The 5 

108 Those Awful Boys 6 

245 Ticket Taker 5 

216 Vice Versa. 4 

206 Villkens and Dinah 4 1 

210 Virginia Mummy 6 1 

205 William Tell 4 

156 Wig-Maker and His Ser- 
vants 3 

GUIDE BOOKS. 

17 Hints on Elocution 

1.30 Hints to Amateurs 

BflSCELLANEOUS. 

215 On to Victory, Cantata. 25c. 5 5 

2.50 Festival of Days. 

260 Cousin John's Album, Pan- 
tomimes 

Happy Franks Songster. 

399 Ames' Select Recitations 
No. 1. 

397 Mother Earth and her Veg- 

atable Daughters 16 

360 Ames' Series of Medleys, 
Recitations and Tableaux 
No. 1 

382 Ames' Series of Medleys, 
Recitations and Panto- 
mimes No. 2. 

.376 Joan of Arc Drill 

371 Victim of Woman's Rights. 1 

184 Family Discipline , 1 

186 My Day and Now-a-Days... i 

Box. Price 50 Cents. . F* 



